Where never Lark, or even Eagle flew

Okay, this is so funny. you guys have to read this... Penned by the humourous and fun loving people who're my colleagues. heh. I quote

" -This story is based on real life events and little effort has been made to deviate from actual occurances....

The Colonel and the Clerk by IAN TAO

*G popped his head into the room, the loud cracking noise from the retractable door hinge doing little to hide his arrival. "Not going off yet?" he asked in a heavily accented Australian tone. *W barely looked up from his work but gave a subtle nod. "C'mon dude. It's already five-thirty and I want to make it home in time for kick-off." G persisted before making his way back to the main office. The closed latched firmly in G's wake just as W finished typing. With a slight sigh, he shut down his computer and slumped into his chair, staring into oblivion, if only for a while to let the day's events trickle through his tan and well-toned, albeit tired body. A pilot, he was back from university on attachment and was now desk-bound for the foreseeable future, at least until the new term started. And while enthusiasm still flowed from his youthful exuberance, his persistent need for adventure told him that combat flying was still his passion.

Snapping out of his hiatus, W gingerly pulled himself out of the chair and proceeded to the main office where G was waiting. Entering, he was met by the wide grin of *C who had been eagerly anticipating the end of the day. C, or 'oi', as he was commonly called, was the clerk of the department and was serving out his time as part of his national service commitment. Though never fully comprehending the logic behind the need to give two years of his life like every other boy of his age, he dutifully kept up appearances in the office so as not to antagonise his thirty-year old female boss who had a penchant for sudoku, tea, and tasteless footwear. G and C quickly stood up to make for the door as W walked in, attempting to hasten their departure from the office. With a quick wave of the hand, they bade goodbye to the staff in the office and proceeded down the hallway to the lift with W lagging behind.

As the threesome made their way to the lift lobby, a tall discernable figure loomed in the distance and upon closer inspection; they realized that it was an air force colonel. He was an impressive figure, row upon row of medals bedecking his neatly pressed uniformed. He was quietly engaged in conversation with two of his staff when the ‘ding’ of the lift announced its arrival. The doors open to reveal a menagerie of service personnel joining the rush hour traffic home and it quickly became clear that there was only room in the lift for three more people. Without hesitation, C rushed into the void and stood there, bag in hand, expecting W and G to follow suit. But contrary to this, W and G stood outside the lift, allowing the colonel to enter first and probably wait for the next available one. However, it became apparent to the two ff them that the colonel was a little put-off by C’s actions and resigned himself to taking the next lift together with his colleagues. Both parties refused to budge, waiting for the other to make the first move and an air of awkwardness descended upon the events taking place on the lift lobby. Then suddenly, a crisp voice broke the thorny atmosphere, “eh, hurry up lah!”

With a look of disbelief, W and G turned to look into the elevator and saw C smiling inquisitively back at them, beckoning them to enter the lift. Both of them were caught in a no-win situation which had taken a sudden turn for the worse. Seven pairs of eyes stared out from behind C to see who would make the next move, like a group of half-naked men hunched around a cock-fight, money in hand and egging their favorite rooster to launch the first decisive attack. But this was the case, they were to be disappointed as the colonel mentioned for the pair to board the elevator and said that he would wait for the next one. W and G uncomfortably entered the lift and watch the lift doors close, the colonel staring back at them with a profound look of disappointment.

And the atmosphere in the elevator did not get any better, the awkward atmosphere seemingly having followed the duo into the narrow confines of the lift. W looked up and saw C, smiling obliviously back at him, and the other participants of the ordeal looked up at the ceiling, feigning innocence to what had just transpired. Should the lift have stopped then, there would have been little doubt that W and G would have just died under tense atmosphere.

The doors opened as if to release all the pent-up energy in the elevator and the crowd came pouring out of the lift. With a sigh of relief, the threesome made their way to the car, driving off home after yet another day at work.